To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’, every Friday. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr Jain explains the easiest ways through which you can make your married life more spicy, and return to the honeymoon phase.
At the beginning of any good marriage, everything seems perfect. You and your spouse agree on life goals and plans, you choose to spend a lot of time with one another, and you both radiate happiness and bliss. But as married life progresses, the responsibilities of kids, bills, and endless day-to-day tasks start to take centre stage, and your relationship is eclipsed by mundane life. As a result, you struggle to maintain your initial state of euphoria and love beyond the first few years.
The fact is, every marriage needs adventure, surprises, love boosts, and some added heat once in a while to keep the relationship alive. Therefore, we have drawn up a list of the ten most essential things that can bring the spark back in your relationship.
Express Your Love Often
No matter how long you two have been in a relationship, don’t ever stop professing your love to your significant other. Make a daily habit of telling your partner how much you love him/her. Moreover, phrases like ‘I love you’ and ‘I care for you’ can make you both feel more connected to one another and make your relationship great. Therefore, expressing your passion often is undoubtedly an easy way to spice up your marriage.
Identify Your Partner’s Love Language
This is a very vital point on how to spice up your marriage. Love languages are the ways people give and receive love, and each person has a different style of doing that. Therefore, it is essential to acquaint yourself with the likes and dislikes of your partner and know his/her love language. Furthermore, it is important to remember, the way we want to show love may not always be what our partners want to receive, so it is essential to love them the way they want.
Show Some Appreciation
One way to spice up your marriage is to come up with a grateful ritual. It is time to get back to the basics and more intentionally start incorporating “thank you” into your daily dialogue. And whenever you can, show each other that your lives have changed for the better because you have found each other. Remember that the magic word “thank you” works wonders.
Don’t underestimate the power of touch. If you are not an affectionate couple, then it is time to reintroduce touch into your relationship to spice it up. Whether it be a long hug, cuddling up to watch your favourite shows together, stroking your partner’s hair, engaging in a nice massage, or playing footsie under the table while eating, they are sure going to steam up your relationship.
Date Each Other
It’s easy to stop going on dates once you get into a routine of being together. But make a regular point to go on actual planned dates. Clear your schedule and make a quick weekend getaway – to the beach for a picnic, to see a film, or take a tour around your city, or just even make time to go out for coffee on a weekend morning.
Ask more questions to your partner that spark true and deep discussions. The questions don’t have to be profound and can be as mundane as, ‘How was your day?’ or ‘what are you thinking ?’. If you never share how you feel, you can’t expect the other person to know or understand how or what you think. So, communicating better is an essential step in spicing up your marriage.
Take A Romantic Bath Together
Showering together is another important lesson on how to spice up your marriage. Your shower time, I believe, has always been the most private time in your life, and letting your partner share that personal time with you means you guys are sharing all aspects of yourselves. It brings a jolt of excitement into your relationship and helps keep it romantic and fun as you discover your partner’s body in all its glory.
Have Fun Outside of Bedroom
When was the last time you and your spouse played together or participated in an activity? Can you remember the last time you did something crazy fun together? If the answer is no, then it’s time to get adventurous. Share games and adventures with your spouse. Do whatever makes you happy and have fun as long as it is together. These kinds of activities may not seem of great value, but it helps couple connect emotionally.
Newlyweds know that a night of passion can do wonders for their well-being and relationship, but over the years, sex takes a backseat as responsibility and chores pile on. Therefore, to reignite the spark, it is essential to make sex a priority in your life.
Not just that, try new things in bed. We don’t always know what we like for sure, so don’t knock anything off until you have tried it.
Take A Trip Down The Memory Lane
This very last note on how to spice up your marriage will make you feel super good and make you know how far you’ve come with your partner. Flip through the photo book together, or recall all the beautiful moments you have shared in the past. The connection and intimacy you have felt with your partner in the past may reappear in your life if you revisit those moments together.